SquawkRadio Comments

Oh, man, Lisa, you really hit a nerve with me on this one!

It just drives me nuts to see all these teenage girls who are starving themselves in order to achieve “perfection”.

When I was a girl, I knew a couple of sisters who were naturally super-skinny and the poor things were regarded as rather freakish. In today’s society, they’d be what other girls would aspire to look like.

Today, I’m roughly 45 pounds over what my insurance company feels is my target weight. I’d love to be down at least 20 for my health’s sake, but I’m not obsessing over it. I just try to make good food choices, exercise as much and whenever possible and deal with it.  I’m fairly comfortable in my skin, but if I were offered lipo to get rid of the 23 year old “baby belly” I’m still carrying around, I certainly wouldn’t refuse! LOL!  It would sure make buying trousers and skirts easier!

But as far as the super-skinnies...I think the pendulum is swinging in the other direction--finally, after the anorexia-related deaths of a couple models.

I applaud Tyra Banks for standing up for herself and declaring herself “normal” and not fat. It’s about d@mned time!

I’ll second that.  The thing I really loved is that Tyra said she is beautiful and sexy no matter how much she weighs.  That is so true.

And before I forget, Lisa, that is a fantastic picture.  You look gorgeous!

I get more comfortable the older I get.  My body seems to have found a weight where it wants to stay.  I weigh the same right now that I weighed when I graduated HS.  On paper that is about 35 pounds overweight but I can’t seem to convince my body of that. 

I try to eat better and I’ve joined a gym but that’s more to be healthy and tone things than to lose anything.  I have a 7 year old daughter that has already said she wishes she could be skinny like the girls on tv.  That made me so mad.  My little girl is not overweight at all and I work very hard to make her see herself as the beautiful, unique girl that she is.

I think society makes it incredibly hard!  When I was in high school I was plump but still pretty!  I didn’t realize that then, because HELLO it’s high school, but as I look at the pictures from then I’d give my left arm to be able to look like that again!  I’m quite a bit more “fluffy” now and I’m trying to be comfy in my own skin.  My hubby loves me the way I am (God love him) but I’d like to lose some of this fluffiness for my health...especially since my dad died very young of heart failure.  Oh, and I think that Tyra looks more beautiful than ever!!!  Lisa, Love the picture!  You look great!!

My secure word is built35...what’s up with that?? lol

Lisa, your picture looks absolutely gorgeous! My uncle is a photographer and he also doesn’t believe in photoshopping.

I am in 100% agreement that society makes self-confidence practically impossible! I’m not even talking about size, either--I just read that Keira often feels ugly, because photogs comment on her ‘horrible legs’ or her ‘funny mouth’. 

Cosmo could have a great article about boosting your self-confidence, but a few pages later talk about how to look like someone else.  You know what kind of society we live in when Cosmo tells you to start using wrinkle cream at 20--and what that says about me, who got a bottle after my 18th birthday!

I wish I could say that don’t have body issues like every other 20-something, but I hope that as I get older I’ll love the skin I’m in. Now, I just focus on making it as healthy as possible and just be happy with it. Your best life is right now!

Did anyone see the Armani show a few weeks ago? It was like Halloween--so many skeletons! Give us more Tyras, Cindys, and Heidis!

I think there is a happy median out there somewhere.  I mean, I’m personally not happy about my weight and feel I could loose quite a few pounds for health reasons; however, I’m not obsessing over it. 
That being said, there are people out there who are naturally skinny.  My daughter is six years old and weighs 39 pounds and she’s pretty tall too!  You can actually count her ribs..literally!  I have such a hard time finding clothes for her and have to buy her “skinny” jeans.  My younger daughter is three and she weighs in at 32 pounds and is just at the right weight and actually shares clothing with her.
I also think that there are girls out there who were once a “normal” weight and decided the skeletal look was for them (Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan) and I just feel bad for them. 
My motto is do what makes you happy becuse life’s too short.  I had an uncle who ate “fat free” and “cholesterol free” everything and refused to indulge once in a while.  He died in a car accident a few years ago.  That made me think, is it really worth it?  Yeah, I should do things to keep healthy, but why deny myself things I like all of the time?

Oh yeah...Lisa you look GREAT!!  I’d swear you look like you are in your late 20’s early 30’s!! You must be doing SOMETHING right!

I just have to say - DANG!  It’s all lighting, huh?  Does your photographer travel cross country?

To answer your questions, I have been comfortable with my skin for a while now and that is due, in no small part, to my husband.  LOL, he saw me at my worst in my twenties in college sweats, so my forties are no biggie.

My feeling is that society will just have to catch up to me.  Sure, I’m not perfect but any imperfections I am changing are because I want to be healthier not because I want to wear zero size jeans.

Frankly, I don’t get those new Weight Watchers and Slim Fast commercials that feature larger size models.  I think they look fabulous and the ads aren’t sporting them as ‘Hideous Before’ pictures but merely as on their way to perfection.  To me, perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

Um, you realize that admitting that this photo wasn’t photoshopped might be a mistake.  Because I’m ordering you a 10-lb box of Godiva this very minute!  And some candied pecans!  And a turkey sandwich! 

Teresa, who believes in feeding her friends well before standing next to them in photos

In my 20’s - I packed on the pounds and ate badly.  I want my 30s to be a time of loss and stablity and healthy weight.  I just want to be a size 10.  I can remember being a size 10 - and I liked my body then.  I felt I was thin, but still had curves.

I’ve been doing pretty good so far on starting the year on the right foot.  Hopefully there will be less of me soon!

And I don’t want to be a size 0 - where a good gust of wind could knock me down.  And

What a gorgeous picture! Excellent.

I do think it’s sad that normal-sized people (especially famous ones) are considered fat. It’s not right and it DOES have an impact, especially on teenagers, but on us older people too, I think.

Whoo hoo. Look at you. You look great!

I have started to embrace the older me. I remember the skinnyness of my youth, the smooth flawless skin and toned body, and think that it was good, great, wonderful. But I don’t want to do that again.

So maybe my belly is a little rounder, my waist a little thicker. I’m a mother. A successful woman, and I know that “age” and experience has given me something I never could have had in my youth, something I never would give up to be that way again--knowledge, sex appeal, confidence.

I love your picture.  Like you, although I am now 65, I love the age I am now.  I feel good about myself, my looks, my inner self, also.

I am sad when so much is put on the size 0 models, and outer beauty.  Women of all ages can be beautiful and worthwhile.  They should feel good about themselves.

It took me a long time to get where I am today, and thankfully, I have arrived.

You go girl.  You look great.

I was reading an issue of Glamour recently and they showed a picture of Heidi Klum on the runway in 1993 as a gorgeous size 6 next to a photo of one of today’s runway models at a size 0.  Klum looked fantastic.  The other chick looked like a walking skeleton.  I agree with miss_annalee...give us more Tyras, Cindys, and Heidis!

As for me and my body.  I like the way I look.  I’ve put on a few pounds in the past 10 years but everyone I know says “it looks good” on me.  I’m not going to argue. 

This pic ISN’T photoshopped???  Lisa, hon, what’s Rolondo’s e-mail address? ‘Cause I think we Squawkers need to give him some advice for when he does the retouching. Like maybe he should photoshop in some wrinkles. And some flabby underarms. And a doughnut around your middle. And maybe a nice mustache. Yeah, that’s the ticket…

I hope society is changing a bit..I wonder, though, if we still are over-obsessing with Hollywood in general..for heaven’s sake, it’s 100% illusion!
I hope more Jennifer Hudson’s (I hope she keeps the shape she’s in..she looks great!) and Kate Winslets are snapping up the good roles/awards..real size women!

- I wish Oprah would stop with the diet/excercise guru stuff, she looks great, at whatever size she is!
-I agree w/ everyone here, you look great, Lisa and healthy!!

I think things are changing in small ways, I loved the Dove commercials with the all the ladies in their undies and normal looking bodies!

Lisa, you’re gorgeous—and you look gorgeous!!

I absolutely agree about how hard it is to be round and older in our society.  What I always come back to is that society is one thing--and men are another.  They like roundness.  ALL the studies show that. 

The weird thing is that the whole premise of the society thinness obsession is that men will find these women attractive—but you show me the man who doesn’t salivate over a curvy model rather than these size 6 skellies!

Eloisa, on her soapbox

As a plus-size woman, the weight thing has always been a touchy subject with me.  One of my sisters is very thin, but she got that way by becoming bulimic in college and I think it aged her by at least 10 years.

I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable in my skin as long as I’m at the weight I’m at, and having attempted at least 30 diets the past year, I have no confidence that I’ll ever get rid of the weight.

It’s sad and sometimes very disturbing how alot of people act about weight issues.  Here where I live there is a family that just lost 4 children and their home in a fire and when the news article mentioned that the mother wore 3-X clothes, for the purpose of donations, someone posted a remark that she should just be given a couple of bedsheets tied together.  When I read that I just prayed that the poor woman, who had already suffered so much, wasn’t reading the comments.

It really was heartening to see America Ferrera and Jennifer Hudson collecting their awards on the Golden Globes and then getting so much press afterward. Those women have serious curves and look fabulous. They have breasts! Real ones that they didn’t PAY for! And hips! It’s getting to where you don’t see much of either on Hollywood women anymore.

I learned at a very early age that people were going to judge you no matter if you were a size 20 or a size 2. They would always find some sort of fault to focus on. Look at all the celebs out there. The media only focuses on the little imperfections they can find in them, not the accomplishments that they’ve made.

Once I realized that, I basically said “screw the world” I don’t care what they think of me. Because in the end, the only thing that matters is that I love and respect myself.

Who wouldn’t like to lose a few pounds, tone up, run faster, etc. I would, but my life doesn’t revolve around it. I’m at a healthy weight right now, but I would love to feel a little more comfortable in my clothes. maybe one of these days I’ll get to the gym. Maybe My goal in life is just to be healthy and live life. It pains me to see people become so obsessed over superficial things that they forget to live.

You look gorgeous (as usual), Lisa.  Great photo!  Hurrah for showing us your casual side!

As for the pressures and etc, etc:  YES.  Everyday I feel them.  And not only do you have to be thin and toned, but you have to have the right look, the right clothes, the right makeup look, the right hair.  I don’t have time!  I mean, I like the result at times, but it takes too bloody long to get a modest result!  It’s just easier to be round and...whatever.

I do love the show Ugly Betty--the show for the rest of us.  *LOL* I think it does demonstrate you don’t have to look like Tyra Banks to be successful, valued, or appreciated.  Or even loved.

Lisa, You look great!

I’m in my early forties and I love the way I am now.  I have the opposite problem of most - I have to gain weight.  But I always had body image issues, cause like Eloisa said and I concur, men like curvy women.  Those size 0 models are not doing that to attract men they are doing it to keep up with the women they think are judging them!

Forties are great!  I’m smarter, more confident, and sex is the best!  My only concern with my body now is that it’s still working for me 20 years from now.  So, my focus for myself and my husband is on health not appearance.  I firmly believe if you eat sensibly and stay active you’ll always look your best!

And, like some of you, I have a loving husband who thinks the sun rises and sets on me and lets me know it every day.  That does great things for your body image!

Lisa, you look gorgeous.  I saw part of your picture in this months RT article but the full picture is even better.

Fashion week ended yesterday, in NY, and all I could see was skin and bones. I never notice the clothes that were on the models.  I do believe it is up to the designers to stop making clothes, for the runway, in not even Size 0’s. To be honest, none of those models looked healthy to me.  They look like the Olsen Twins, Nicole Richie, Kiera Knightly, Kate Bosworth, Kate Moss etc.

Personally being 50, I like myself and I could lose 30 pounds but I love my curves because they were God given with a great family gene pool. Love live the the Jennifer Hudson’s and America Ferrera’s.

I applaud all the Tyra Banks, Kate Winslets, America Ferreras and Jennifer Hudsons for making it, and hopefully, leading the wave of the future!

Lisa, you look terrific!  You have a sparkle in your eyes that shows you’re a beautiful person inside and out!

Actually, I picture a lot of the heroines in the novels I read look just like you. 

I agree with you that the 40’s are a wonderful time.  I would never repeat my 20’s for all the gold in fort knox.  It was such a hectic time.  I’m very comfortable with the person I’ve become.  As far as the weight goes, I’ll never be a size 5 again, but I have been working on being the healthiest I can be.  And I really want to look good in this decade and the next.

You look mahvelous, Lisa dahling!  It’s just so unfair, talented and gorgeous.  Sigh.  But like you, I have found myself much more comfortable in my own skin (and there’s plenty of it) in my forties. I’m confident, comfortable, and smarter, like Irisheyes said.  If I lose the weight, cool, and if I don’t, oh well.  I’ve come to see that who I am is not defined by how I look, regardless of what society believes in general.  Those who know me know my worth, and those who judge me by how I look don’t know what they’re missing.  I wish I had a Rolando near me!  : )

Am I comfortable in my body? No, I’m not and that is because I am overweight and I need to lose weight.  I am only 5’3 and I weigh close to 190 pounds. So I need to lose it.

As for the super skinny actresses and models I think it is horrible that they look the way they do. I don’t see how any man would want someone who looked like that. I mean it would be like hugging bones.

I am 30 years old and I love my life. I have two handsome boys and am married to my highschool sweetheart who loves me for who I am. But it isn’t how he feels it’s about how I feel. Am I beating myself up over the extra pounds...Heck no but I do want to lose the weight...even if it is only 30 pounds just for the sake of my health. I want to feel sexy again and I want curves and boobs to make me feel that way, not bones sticking out.

***And Lisa you look AMAZING! I would have never guessed you were in your forties. I am glad that you aren’t going to have it photoshopped...it wouldn’t be you then.***

Who is this “Lisa” person and why is she blogging on Squawk Radio?

Geez, Lisa!  Do you have a LICENSE to look that gorgeous?  You exude beauty, good health and overall niceness.

I got married at 26 and proceeded to put on five pounds a year after that.  No particular reason.  I just love to eat.  My husband loves to eat.  But by early last year, I could no longer look at pictures of myself.  I didn’t look like me anymore.  We’ve been married for nine years, which meant 45 extra pounds, and I wasn’t skinny to start with.

So I paid a lot of money to a weight loss program, figuring I’ve never had self control, so I’d buy it.  The money I spent was incentive to stay on track, eat right, and excercize.  And it would make my husband think twice before he encouraged me to cheat. 

It worked.  Six months later I’d lost 47 pounds, gone from a size 14/16 back to size 8.  I’m not skinny.  I’m 5’5” and 140 pounds.  And I feel really good.  I can take my seven year old daughter skiing and not feel all those extra pounds on my knees and ankles.  I have more energy to play with my three year old son.  That has been the best payoff!

I feel my body image is right where I want it to be.  I’m proud of the sagging belly that childbearing gave me.  I think our society needs to value that more.  Fertility and motherhood is beauty.

I hope my daughter will grow up with a healthy body image, looking at my shape, and the bodies of her aunts and my friends and seeing the beauty of real women, and not looking to the media as arbiter of beauty.  But maybe it takes until your thirties or forties to be able to appreciate our bodies as they are.

Wow, Miz Lisa! Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!

A very good friend of mine who is 45 like moi, recently had a photoshoot done for her hubby’s Xmas gift. The photographer was fabulous and made her so comfortable that she actually ended up with some tasteful nudes (she’s also a personal trainer but this guy knows his stuff too) Anyway, she said she highly rec doing something like this, that it’s very liberating.

I agree about the 40’s. Don’t quite understand it but it’s a great *place* to be. I’m no longer obsessed with having super body, but I also know that the road to disaster starts when I find my size 10’s are tight. I don’t ignore it, I make changes and make excersise a PRIORITY.

The downside of tools like photoshop is that when a person uses it, then is seen in person....well, it can be a bit *disconcerting*?

Sometimes, I admit, I feel like Blanche in Streetcar Named Desire, not wanting anyone to see her face in the harsh light of a bare lightbulb

I think Tyra is wonderful and a great role model for young women.

When I was in 7th-8th grade, my entire group of friends and I went through a sort of eating-disorder stage. Honestly? I had no real concept of whether I was overweight; I was just following the group as we each ran down our own body images and self-esteem. I weighed less than 90 lbs at the time.

Between 8th grade and freshman year I gained quite a bit of weight (hello, puberty!), and I gained more weight my senior year of college. I’m now a size 6-8, but according to all those weight charts, I’m overweight for my height. Every time someone mentions their weight, I stop and compare. I may wear the same size as someone else but weight 20 lbs more, so I automatically think I’m too heavy. So what’s up with the size/weight ratio? How can two people have the same essential shape and clothes size, but have a vast difference in weight? Which should I (or anyone) focus on: size or weight? (Of course, the real answer to that is “health,” but I’m talking the gut-reaction, which-is-more-important focus.)

I think weight and facial beauty are almost equally emphasized in the media, but weight gets more focus by non-media because the facial-beauty emphasis is so insidious.

This is just a theory, and I’m still working on it. Think, for example, about the kid who was mocked on American Idol, when they said he looked like a caveman or something. That got media play for, what, only two days? Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but why wasn’t there more discourse about the media’s preoccupation with perfect facial structure? A beautiful young woman just died recently during a “routine” nose job. Why did rhinoplasty, liposuction, Botox, etc. become standard practice?

OK, sorry for the multiple posts, but I have to split this into three. More to follow.

Fabulous picture!!

I am envious of my mother’s metabolism—she’s one of the super skinny people who doesn’t starve herself to be a size 0 (on the contrary; she eats quite a bit).  And this after four kids.  She says it’s because of all the running after us she had to do.  Me, on the other hand… I have to watch what I eat, and I do, most of the time, because I don’t like feeling heavy; I think it also hinders my riding ability if I gain weight (and don’t stay fit, which isn’t always the same thing, but the two seem to go hand-in-hand).

I feel strange sometimes because I’ve always wanted to be older than I am—I think it’s due to the influence of knowing people who are in their 30s and 40s and older who are secure in their life (or appear to be anyway), and wanting that; I really hope that one’s high school or college years or even 20s are not the best years of one’s life.

Thank you for the wonderful compliments, darling friends! And it makes me so happy to hear that so many of us are self-accepting, no matter what our flaws.

You’re all beautiful to me!!!

Or think about that YouTube “Dove evolution” commercial that shows a woman going from basically normal looking to beautiful. But wait, that’s not enough! She is PhotoShopped to look more beautiful. The irritating part is that I never would’ve thought she was less than beautiful before the PhotoShop work, but someone somewhere decided they could make her look better than real-person beautiful by widening and enlarging her eyes, making her nose smaller, plumping her lips, etc.

Here’s the scary part: Everyone who sees only the end product believes there’s a woman out there who looks like that in real life, so they aspire to that beauty. But it’s not reality; it’s fiction in a way that none of the Squawker novels are, because this media fiction hurts people.

I see this as two sides of the same coin: media/societal focus on weight and on facial structure. Both cause serious damage to people’s self-image and to their health, in different ways.

Does anyone else see what I mean, or am I just projecting because I have a less-than-stunning face AND body?

When I was younger I was very uncomfortable with people’s reactions to my looks. Why do people make assumptions about someone’s character based on their body type? If you’re fat then you must be lazy. If you’re thin then you must be an obsessive compulsive anorexic. If you’re built like a boy then chances are you want to be one. And lord help you if you have any curves because everyone assumes that you “bought” them. And we all know what women like That are like. They want attention and well You Know!
What a bunch of cow manure. 
I am more comfortable in my own skin now than ever. Why? Because I DON”T CARE what someone else thinks about how I look!  That’s their problem. I refuse to make it mine Anymore.  Yeah, I love being 45.

Lisa you look great!! 
Everyone just keep in mind that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14!!!  That probably is a 10-12 today.  She looked great!
I’m older and work out and try to eat right, but the older you are, the harder it is to lose the pounds that my MD wants me to.  Slow and steady will have to do it...this from one who was so skinny as a kid that my ribs showed!  I wanted to gain weight!  Amazing what four children and time will do.

When I saw that photo of Tyra Banks I thought, “Cool! That’s how I look in a bathing suit!” In other words, I thought she looked normal!

I’ve noticed that I’m not quite as hard on myself as I was in my 20’s. Now I look for solutions such as working out, denying myself a second helping of dessert and finding a good bra that helps me look “refreshed!”

Thanks for sharing your gorgeous photo!

Mary

Lisa that is a gorgeous picture. I love the fact the photographer did not touch it up. Not that you needed him too.

For me, a picture that has been sanitized and homogenized is boring. Living Life gives you wrinkles, and grey hair, and a less than perfect body. You have EARNED those things. They are like Merit Badges. When those so called imperfections are removed so are the “life experiences” that created them. 

By the way. Yes, that is my eye on the right over there…And in case anyone is wondering That photo isn’t twenty years old, it was taken last month. I’m not really sure why I don’t have any crow’s feet or a lot of wrinkles. It might be genetics. Or perhaps the cholesterol, triglycerides and fat in those donuts that I love to eat fill in my facial crevices. Yeah, that must be it! 

I don’t nip, I don’t tuck, or peel, or dye my hair. Do you know what they call hair that hasn’t been processed in any way? Its virgin hair…That’s Right…I am a Virgin! LOL

Hi, Lisa!

First of all: Has anyone told you that you are a dead ringer for Mariska Hargitay? 

Second: The picture is stunning.

Finally:  One of the things I look forward to about turning forty in a couple of years is acceptance of who I am.  I am two years away from that point, but am on my way.  What is odd to me is how a negative comment from another person, or in Tyra Bank’s situation, a negative headline, can put a woman on the defensive about who she is.  Tyra got angry, but handled it well for a public figure who wants to send a message about positive body image. 

I have received several negative comments about my life and the choices I make.  When I get upset, I don’t get upset with the individual that makes the comments, but with myself for letting them affect me negatively.  I have to keep telling myself:
I don’t have the most and best of everything, but for the most part, I like who I am and where I am headed. Any change I make will be because it is what I want.  This is the message we should be sending out to women of every age. 

Wow! That’s all I have to say. Lisa you look fabulous.

I was skinny until I had kids. Now I need to loose about 10-15lbs. I have no will power anymore.

I can’t stand seeing super skinny models. I saw a picture of one model whose ribs were clearly visible. Made me nauseous. I was thinking- who finds these women appealing. Certainly not any guy in my family. Slim is one thing - emaciated another.

um......anyone know how to type a wolf whistle?  Wow wee, Lisa! that is one gorgeous picture.

I will soon be 55. I wear a 12/14. Mother Nature and gravity have re-arranged this body on several occassions. I weigh more than I should for my frame, but they tell me it’s muscle, and muscle weighs more than fat. I’ve never been a toothpick and never aspired to be one.

The TV commercial that absolutely kills me is the one where the girl laments being a size 10 and is finally down to a 2 thanks to whatever product she is using. SICK!!

As for being a size 0..........why would you want to be a nothing? We’ve done a great disservice to the younger generation by constantly bombarding them with these waifs with no shape. We should be teaching them self esteem. Love yourself and be yourself. Don’t try to be someone else.

I was born a female and I have a female figure. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

One of the smartest things my 9 year-old-daughter has ever said to me was “why would I care what I look like”? when she was asked a question about self-esteem.  She was honestly bewildered; I just hope it lasts through the teenage years. 

I also like being in my forties (almost 46).  I absolutely could lose weight, but honestly, I’m just too tired to worry about it.  My life is so crammed full right now with husband, kids, work, etc., that appearance just doesn’t seem that important.  And I, too, have a great and supportive husband.  In almost 19 years together, he has never, ever said a negative word about my appearance.  He thinks I’m beautiful (which the rest of the world does not).  I can put up with a lot of dirty laundry tossed on the floor for that!

Lisa, if I looked that good, I’d post that picture on a billboard somewhere.

Sugar Daddy!  Eeek, I can’t wait!

Lisa, you look fabulous.

My body has definitely rearranged itself in my 40’s.  Thank goodness my husband is a real man who likes curves.  He can’t stand those skinnies.

But do you want to know the thing that has helped me most with my body image?  It’s the TV show What Not To Wear--actually both American and the British shows.  I know they can be really mean to the fashion victims, but I believe they show how anyone can look beautiful right now.

Here is what I have learned form What Not To Wear.  Love yourself, take care of yourself, and dress in clothes that fit (no matter what size) and flatter you.  And you don’t need $5000.00.  They sell great clothes at Target now.

Who wants the soapbox next?

Thanks to many years of skinny high schoolers and a vicious ex-husband i had a terrible image of my body. But now i can honestly say about 3 years ago, i finally just threw up my hands and said “this is me, I have to live with it so i better like it.”

I am not saying that i couldn’t use to lose 30 pounds and that i am not envious of my ever so skinny sister, but i figure you have to like yourself for you (all of you) or you will never be happy. Now that i am pregant i figure after the baby is born, i will lose some of ithe weight just from lack of sleep and running around after what will probably be a very active child.

I am built like a real women, not one of those models. So bring on the nay sayers, I’ll just laugh at them. MAHAHA.

Btw, very beautiful pictue Lisa!

I wasn’t going to comment because you ladies have all said it so well, but the verification word is strength57, and who can resist?

Lisa, that really is a gorgeous photo, and good for you for recognizing that it doesn’t need to be Photoshopped!

I am just about to embark on my 30’s, and am really looking forward to it.  I have a large bone structure and ^gasp^ curves, and I hated it in high school, where I saw all those skinny models and wondered why I had to have such large hips.  Now, after 3 children, I realize what a great body I had before and wish I could take that teenage me aside and show her herself through my eyes.  My body now is that of a mother, and of course there are things I would change, but I’m proud of it all the same.  It does what I need it to do and I know a lot more now about how to put the right clothes on it so it shows to its best advantage.

I applaud public figures like Tyra Banks who point out that they have normal bodies, makers of the Dove campaign for beauty, and wonderful women like you Lisa, who show us that beauty does not require sanitization and technical assistance.

WOW!  Lisa, that is one gorgeous picture.  You look fabulous, the perfect example of a happy, healthy, confident WOMAN!

I’ve never had a problem with self-esteem and for most of my life I’ve been very happy with my outer image.  I’ve always been curvy, even when I was a size 7 and I’ve always liked my curves. 

I put on some pounds about five years ago but after two years on Weight Watchers and more consistent exercise, my doc says I’m right where I’m supposed to be.  At 55 years old and 5’4” that’s between 130 and 140 pounds.  It’s not the 115 of my teens or the 120 of my 20s but I’m not that age anymore so why would I want to try to look like I was?  I’m happy, I’m healthy and I like who I am, outside and, more importantly, inside.

Ann in IL said…
As for being a size 0..........why would you want to be a nothing? We’ve done a great disservice to the younger generation by constantly bombarding them with these waifs with no shape. We should be teaching them self esteem. Love yourself and be yourself. Don’t try to be someone else.

AMEN!

First, Lisa you look amazing!!  Like stated in a comment above, you’re practically glowing with beauty, happiness, health and just, well, niceness!!!  Now onto the rest!
It is tiring to have to live in a society that puts so much stock in what size you can squeeze into, how big your breasts are, how pouty your lips are, and how firm your backside is!  An impossible standard has been set and too many women strive like crazy to try and meet that impossible standard.  The pressure is so heavy that I’m sure ever the individuals with the highest levels of self-esteem have faltered a time or two.  There was a time when having curves was in and I think it’s past time for that way of thinking to return.  Props to Tyra for being comfortable as she is even when tabloids tout her as “fat”. PLeease, she’s so gorgeous.  And the people lobbying for a weight requirement in the modeling world!!  Healthy and Happy whatever your size is what should be encouraged.  Not starved, unhappy, but hey I’m skinny right!!!  Justin Timerlake said it right...bringing sexy back, bring back some curves!  Curves are SeXy!!

Toodles
Christine

LISA LIED!!!  And if you don’t believe me, look below her blog to see the startling evidence for yourself!!!

You’re beauty queen gorgeous, Lisa!  I don’t think you ever have to worry about how you look in a photo. I definitely agree that the best thing about aging is about growing more comfortable in your own skin.  I definitely know myself better and have learned what I like and don’t like and don’t make apologies for any of it anymore.  I am what I am, and I’m pretty satisfied with that now that I’m in my mid 40’s.  (How did THAT happen!?!)

Teresa, I don’t believe for minute that Lisa would wear RUFFLES!!!!

The uproar over Tyra Banks is insane. The woman is gorgeous. I think that sh looks better at her current weight. A few years ago, I was in a check out line. A tabloid had the best and worst makeover of the year. The best was a very anorexic Lindsey Lohan and the worst was Brittney Spears who just had a baby. Both the woman in front of me and I had to express our disgust.

But I am guilty as anyone of placing too much emphasis on my appearance. My current mantra is “Forget my inner child; I am trying to embrace my outer crone.” I am not sure that it is working, but I am trying.

Lisa,

You look wonderful.  You hit the nail on the head about age and beauty.  I also weigh 20 lbs more than my ideal weight, and I also have lost my battle with gravity...two kids do wonders for the bust line...it’s sad when your belly button and breasts are eye-to-eye.  Anyway, everything physically has gone down hill, but spiritually and mentally I could not be happier.  I can stand next to a hot 20 year old stick with boobs and think “Damn, I’m HOT!”

I had a horrible time in HS, because I was “larger “ than most other girls. I have been overweight for over 18 years and only once did I get down to my “ideal” weight (according to the Doctor), I was sick ALL the time. The weight eventually came back and I am healthy because I work out regularly and eat moderately. That’s not to say I wouldn’t like to lose weight, but only as much as I feel the need to, not what everyone else thinks.
As for the skinney models, there has been a lot of press of this lately and European nations are getting together to make rules for weight adn such, however the American modeling market has not. AND a few designers were interviewed about the issue and reportedly stated that they will continue to design clothes for the super skinney models because thats what they wanted to do and could care less about what the public thought. Personally I’m disgusted with this attitude. I have an 11 year old Daughter and make sure she knows that she shouls really only concern herself with being healthy!!

Lisa,
You look fabulous!I am 46 and feel better and apperciate life more than I did in my 20’s. I try to eat healthy and I do exerciseand YES I feel comfortable in my skin. I think its all about being happy with your self and how you live than what other people think expect or want.Todays society does make it hard for people to be truly comfortable with and God forbid be happy with your own uniqueness.LIVE TRUE!

I own all of your books and I love ya to death, but I’m calling you on the carpet here.  Exactly whom do you refer to when you say “society makes it hard?” You’ve obsessed publicly and privately about your picture for months and that’s different, how?

Have you obsessed this long about whether or not your new bio shows that you’re as accomplished as you feel?  Have you shared, in metaphors or in dollars and cents or in whatever how your writing career has progressed relative to your agent’s ability to negotiate better book deals on your behalf?

Lisa, the challenge I’m having with this blog is that you are acting like the vague ‘society’ you disparage.  You measure yourself in changes of 20 lbs and whether or not you look good in a photo.  That’s how you measured yourself 20 years ago.  Find a new metric for success, girl.

And I apologize in advance to anyone who believes I’m being unfair here.  But the irony of your post hit a nerve with me.  I believe that *every* woman who achieves a certain stature has an obligation to be a role model.  Please don’t waste that gift.

Feeling guilty for harping but doing it anyway,
Sherry

Interesting view Sherry.
However…
From where I’m sitting I do believe That Ms Kleypas was behaving like a Very Good Role Model. I find it refreshing for a former Beauty Queen to talk about some of the insecurities that she has faced as she aged. Society has Enormous Expectation for Its Beautiful People to stay Unchanged. It’s called Brand Recognition. Lisa Kleypas is A Brand Name who also happens to be a real, living, breathing person. So Of course Lisa is worried about the picture on her book jacket. Perhaps you are unaware Sherry that Most marketing firms would have insisted that the picture be retouched?  Talk about Pressure. But Lisa didn’t cave in to it. She wanted her publisher and the public to accept her as she is! Now that’s what I CALL Success. And THAT is the kind of Woman that I Want as a Role Model for my 13 year old daughter.

And next:
How else is one to measure the changes that time has wrought Sherry …if not in pounds and the ravages of gravity and Motherhood? Those are terms that I CAN relate to. For me, there is Nothing vague about those words. Because I Have experienced those things for myself.

Tell me Why must genuine Generosity be measured in dollars and cents? I wonder Sherry, would you consider me “less” than giving because I give people my time. Is a piece of Me, given from the heart, less valuable than something coming out of my wallet? 

And I do apologize in advance Sherry if you feel that I am being unfair here. I truly don’t think that you are Harping so much as Wondering. I am wondering too. I wonder what exactly makes you so uncomfortable with someone blogging about how they are comfortable with their looks?

I absolutely respect that opinion, Julie.  I had not considered that Lisa’s Brand is as a Beauty Queen.  I considered only her brand as a writer.  This was not a personal attack, nor an attack against “keeping it together as we age.”

Let me try my point again:

There is a very interesting career blogger on yahoo!finance--Penelope Trunk.  She wrote this wild blog about how cheerleaders make the best execs because they understand how to compete for the best currency and how in high school that currency is boys.  I was floored by her logic.

To beat the “does society make it hard” challenge, all one has to do is avoid using the currency of society to define one’s self.  By refusing to do that, it’s fairly easy to feel good about yourself at any age.  If you use “society’s” currency, like beauty or chearleading, it’s easy to feel bad.

Why not just encourage all women to use the currency that favors our unique talents at each phase of our lives?

Part II Julie,

I sense we are not as far apart as all that---just reflecting it differently.  There’s NOTHING wrong with having personal values.  And if beauty is a value of someone’s, so be it.

But what’s interesting is that you, Julie, chose to interpret Lisa’s blog as “happy” and I chose to interpret it as “acceptance.”

And I’m not sure what you meant by “generosity” although I sense it has to do with what you do for a living.  What I said somewhere is that there are metrics that will better show Lisa’s achievements than her beauty.  The beauty metric was a currency that got her a name, a nice scholarship and whatever else.  But the currency in which she trades now is the publishing world metric measurement and I would love to hear about her accomplishments there and would hope that she puts as much thought into them as she put into the cover photo.

To be clear, I am well aware that life is far better measured in achievements other than in dollars and cents.  But the same can be said for pounds and dress sizes.

Dear Sherry,

I completely agree that none of us should measure ourselves by pounds or sizes or whatever standards of beauty are popular at the moment. That was actually pretty much what I was trying to convey . . . I should have explained myself better.

Truly, I haven’t been obsessing over this photo . . . the Squawkers can tell you, I’ve been obsessing over many other things *g*

I think Julie has the sense of what I was trying to get across . . . that I’ve come to a new and happy realization that I measure myself in better, more meaningful ways than I used to. Which is very satisfying, because it means that I’ll like my photo twenty years from now as much as I like this one.

Because it’s really not about the photo

P.S. Julie . . . your daughter is very lucky to have you as a mother.

Sherry said; “I had not considered that Lisa’s Brand is as a Beauty Queen.  I considered only her brand as a writer.”
Ah Sherry you are Quite The Fascinating Woman. I find it intriguing that you took my Brand Recognition statement …which Was inferring to Lisa, The Writer, and projected it into Miss Kleypas The Beauty Queen.

And as far Cheerleaders making excellent executives because of the Boy Factor …Well that would only be true if everyone in the work force was… a Man. Hmm, what makes A Great Executive (GE) and what makes for a Great Head Cheer Leader?
They both have to:
Be willing to work hard to get the results that they desire.
Understand the importance of teamwork
Know how to make hard work fun and enjoyable
Have a strong bass. Otherwise the whole team will topple over.
Cheer for their co-workers.
Know the importance of surrounding themselves with a good team.
Have a few tricks up their sleeve that the other team can’t “perform”.
They must be willing to take risks.
And last, but not least, they can handle someone with PMS.
Really I could go on and on. Hmm I suppose that one must conclude from this list that Cheer Leaders would make GE’s. But Not because they know how to handle men or someother “currancy”.  They would make GEs because they have work ethic, are risk takers, and they are team players. Wow Sherry thanks. This was enlightening!

I’ve read all the comments with interest.  I feel very fortunate to be part of a group that allows each other to express their opinions.  After all opinions are neither right nor wrong.

No matter what size we may be we have all experienced the same feelings of sadness; happiness; loss; joy, and these bind us together as women.

I would rather be known for what I am like on the inside, than what I look like on the outside.”

You said it perfectly, Linda!

For lack of a second cup of coffee, I deleted my post a minute ago--argh…

Lisa,

Because it’s really not about the photo, I owe you an apology.  However, I’m sort of happy to have been made wrong to get the discussion out there.  I still believe very strongly that “society” is not the demon here. We are, by choosing to play the game by currency we do not own.  We must all create our own currency. And the healthiest of us are self-validating---not looking outside for acceptance; that’s just a really sweet bonus.

Looking forward to the bio that goes with the great pic!

I also posted early about appearance not really mattering, but I confess:  I always pick out family portraits that I look the best in.  And I got up an extra hour early to fluff to make sure I had a good driver’s license picture.

Carolyn, I used to be that way even to the point of not wanting my picture taken b/c I felt was was “too fat” to be seen.  Then when my dad died, I suddenly realized I didn’t have any pictures of me with my parents that weren’t ancient and thought it was a real shame.

So now, I just smile and enjoy the moment...I don’t really care what I look like. I’m not saying I’ll post the really hideous ones on the internet! But I’ll look at them and remember the fun times I had with my family and friends and not obsess about my looks.

Dear Sherry,

I’m having my second cup too! PLEASE, dear friend, there is NO need for an apology . . . you bring so much to the discussion, and I think it’s important for women to talk about these things. This is exactly what I want my daughter to understand, that we must filter everything with our brains instead of blindly absorbing the stuff that’s thrown at us.

Hugs!

--Lisa

Julie,
Don’t go too far down the P.Trunk road.  Lots of people think she’s insane (As in the finance world, many think Robert Kiyosaki is).  But she did define “currency” for our use.

Using myself as an eg. if it helps you get where I’m at:  I’ve had a 25 yr career in sales.  It’s been a success by many measures--but not all.  I’ve been asked why I never went into sales management, as if this was a failure on my part to advance.  It’s been intentional.  But if I used the metric of line sales to sales mgmt, I’d be a failure.  Additionally, I’m a former bodybuilder.  So don’t get me started on the clothing that doesn’t fit or the weight that the chart says I should be---I have to measure my physical beauty in stamina and ability to carry stuff.  (For your amusement, I was a cheerleader.  Someone has to be at the bottom of the pyramid holding the center girls up!)

If one is passionate about a career, that’s a better place to find accomplishment metrics than in the pages of People Magazine.  This whole hoohaa was about me thinking Lisa was serious about obsessing over her flaws and then asking if “society” is the culprit. There’s irony in being complicit.

Sherry said: “society” is not the demon here. We are, by choosing to play the game by currency we do not own.
LOVE your way of putting this! You cut through the crap like a sharp machete. 

And then Sherry said:
If one is passionate about a career, that’s a better place to find accomplishment metrics than in the pages of People Magazine.

Sherry I KNEW that I liked you. Wonderful, enlightened words.
For your ammusement Sherry: I was not a cheerleader! I congratulate you on having the good sense not to go into management! Sales Management is a burn out job. Clothes have never fit me right either. And I used to work out with weights too. But I didn’t do it because I wanted to be a body builder. I did it too my increase my stamina and ability to carry stuff… So it seems Sherry that you and I had the same goals…Reached the same results. We Just did it for different reasons. Which fascinates me. Seeing how people’s differences make them the same is simply fascinating. And enlightening too!

lisa kleypas said…
P.S. Julie . . . your daughter is very lucky to have you as a mother.

Thanks lisa! I’ll tell my daughter that you said that next time she starts complaining about my mothering skills.

To J. perry Stone:
Now exactly HOW did you handle that neighbor of yours?

Julie,

I call that shared “values” (coaching term referring to the things you are attracted to regardless of how different the rest of your lives are). 

Anyway, I like you too.  And no harm no foul.  And thank you, Lisa.  And since this is squawkradio, maybe it should be “no harm no fowl”....

That was beautifuly handled ladies! I’m so glad squawkradio allows for voices of dissent now and then.
Lisa, your picture is gorgeous and this blog makes me love you even more. I think YOUR kids are lucky to have YOU as a mother!
Unfortunately, I’m still at the terribly self-conscious, trying-to-look-as-good-as-people-in-the-magazines stage. I know it’s wrong but I just can’t seem to help it, and it hurts. You all serve as great role models. I expecially appreciate the currency idea. I just have to kep telling myself: My brain is my currency, my brain is my currency, my brain is my currency…

I come by my vanity honestly.  When she was well, my mom was the most vain woman on the planet.  Wouldn’t swim in the ocean or have the windows down in the car because her hair might get mussed.  Never left the house without a full complement of liquid eyeliner. 

So if I can’t pass a toaster or other shiny appliance without checking out my reflection or fluffing my hair, it’s not my fault!  It’s hereditary!

Teresa you always make me laugh!  I think we all have our idiosyncrasies (where is spell check when you need it!) I always have to look in a mirror after I eat or blow my nose just to make sure everything is at it should be.  I even discovered (from my ever helpful husband) that while I blow dry my hair I tend to smile at myself in the mirror.  Maybe smiling makes me feel better about a bad hair day; or maybe I just need therapy!

P.S. I am going to start “The Windflower” tonight, and I also found one of your older books at this little tucked away bookstore in Ashland.  It is “Touch of Enchanment”.  I have not been able to find “Breath of Magic” as of yet.

Well damn!!!  I missed all of this wonderful conversation!

Lisa....I really love that you didn’t retouch your picture....I think that’s the most beautiful thing about it (and you’re a gorgeous woman, so that’s saying a lot).

Thank you J . . . XOXOXO

--Lisa

are you saying a chocolate in both hands is not a balanced diet?

we watched an old style movie called Kiss Me Kate, they looked a perfect shape but sadly I suppose today they would be considered fat

Hi Lisa,

I know I’ve very behind the eight ball in posting now, but I just wanted to say that I love your photo - you look gorgeous!

orannia

Dang, great photo.

Personally, I’m overweight for my height and I’d like to find blouses that do not have darts or a neckline half way to my navel. I have too much to make them look normal without looking like I’m selling something.