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And that, in a nutshell, is why at the tender age of 24 I married a sexy, romantic, interesting, “fully-baked” 43 year old man who had put his wild youth behind him and was ready to focus all that passion, friendship, love and committment on me and our relationship. 

The twenty-somethings may be fun to look at but, for the real thing, I agree with you Lisa.  Give me that Middle-Aged Man!

PJ

I totally agree, Lisa!  And for some reason, Brad Pitt will always be a “boy” to me, too.

How about Hugh Laurie in HOUSE?  He’s definitely well-seasoned.

Does anyone remember the joke about the little boy who was bored so he bought Tampons because if you had Tampons, you could go swimming and go to the beach and play tennis?

Apparently, if a man takes Viagra, he can dance, he plans vacations, he wants to walk hand in hand on the beach, and he can throw a football thru a tire swing.

At the ripe old age of 24, I’m already finding myself bored with men in their twenties, but still too immature for (most) men in their thirties.  It’s a dreadful in-between age.

But as far as ‘looks’ go?  Yes, give me a salt-and-pepper George Clooney over Jake Gyllenhaal anyday.

I’ll say! I’m married to one (48). And although there is a little snow on top, all the things you’ve stated are true true!
Interestingly enough, I’d also put all your comments on mid-aged women as well.. Oprah Winfrey, Diane Keaton (doesn’t she look great at 60+?) and such..
I wish the media would get on with it, there seems to be a turning of the tide as far as “older” folks go, more older athletes, actors, and musicians..although, someone needs to pull the retire plug on Mick Jagger! (IMO)
Hey, Lisa does that mean more over 40 heros coming in books? I loved Sir Ross!
Hey, my word veri. is behind44!

I also wanted to add though, that Mario Lopez is 33, while he is not ancient by any stretch, he’s no spring chicken.

Hmm, this is a difficult issue.  While I can definitely see the attraction of an older man, George Clooney is just swoon worthy, in real life I think I’d prefer someone close to my own age.  That way we’d have more in common and probably similar baggage.  I’m now 30 and having conversations about mortgages and pensions and ISA’s, at 20 years of age I would have bored myself and I’m hoping that at 40 I’ll have these issues sorted and will have moved on to different ones.  Also I think I’d have more empathy and understanding for the issues a man of my own age would have faced.

But sometimes opposites attract, so you never know!!

If I wasn’t already a fan of the middle aged man, (Depp, Clooney, Crow *sigh*) I certainly would be now after that sexy description of them! 

As for Mario, I love DWTS, thanks to Tami insisting I watch it.  As much as Mario is a cutie I can’t stop thinking of him as Slater on Saved by the Bell.  Yep, I used to watch that show.

Although older men can be attractive, I’m not into them at all. I’m 27 and my hubby is 33. I grew up watching Saved by the bell, I had a crush on Mario Lopez when I was 12. Who says younger men can’t take it slow and go for hours?? Younger men have more stamina!! I love to be off the wall, silly and goofy, would a older man think I’m a lunatic?? I think I’ll stick with hot rocked hard candy and leave y’all to the gummy bears

I couldn’t agree with you more, Lisa!  I met my husband in college and we married a year after we graduated.  I look at pictures of him from college and think, He was so cute!.  I look at him now and I think Man, is he HOT!  Sure he may creak when he gets up from the couch and may have filled out a little more but, hey, so have I!

A friend we hadn’t seen since college recently commented to me how much better looking he is now because he had such a baby face then.  I smiled graciously but all I kept thinking was, “Back off, toots!”

I find this to be true with some of the actors who started out as hot young things!  Men like George Cloony, Harrison Ford, Anthony LaPaglia....Colin Firth (sorry, I have to include him everywhere!)

Of the young actors out there, who do you think will age like a fine wine?  Seen Leonardo DiCaprio lately?  Machaly Calkin - not so much.

As I was reading Lisa’s blog I was thinking “Hugh Laurie”.  Perfect example.  Though, I don’t know, maybe it’s the limp that makes him so sexy on House. 

I’ve always been attracted to men older than me - for all the reasons Lisa stated.  Maybe because I’ve always been “old for my age” as my parents used to say.  I think it comes from being the youngest of 6 kids, and there is a big gap between me and the others.  I was around older people all my life and I matured a lot faster because of it.

Like my GRANDMA use to say:  “It’s better to catch the Bull when he’s tired”.  I caught my bull at 29 and he was 44.  But I have to say that I love “eye candy”, Ahhhh, to have 4-25 yr.olds around just to look at.  I figure in total they would be 100 yrs.old so they would be older than I am, right?

Yes Lisa give me a middle-aged man over a young ‘un anyday. Not only do you get longer, slower sex, with a side of romanticism. But you get More Interesting Sex. Ah the Creativity of an Experianced Lover. Sorry girls, but a Generation Xer or as I call them a Generation X Boxer still has a lot to learn about life and Woman. Younger men also have a tendancy to take them selves much tooo seriously. Sure I want strenghth and conviction, but I need humor too. Give me a Man who is secure enough to laugh at himselfs …and life …and at Me when I get too serious.

My own Son just became engaged to a woman, no make that Woman with a capital W, who is 4 or 5 years older than him. She is also 4 inches taller and eons more experienced in life than my DS. This brings me to another interesting point. Has anyone besides me noticed that younger men are also attracted to older women? It fascinating to watch really. Of course It can also be annoying when you are The Older Woman that is being pursued…But that’s another story…All I will say is I try to let them down gently when I tell them No Thank You…and does your Mother know that you are out after curfew?

Wow, Lisa, you are totally correct! Older men are more compelling than younger men for so many reasons. Just compare William Holden as the aging outlaw in THE WILD BUNCH to Tobey Maguire as the young bushwhacker in RIDE WITH THE DEVIL. I like Tobey, but it’s no contest!

Not to be too Freudian, but I think the strongest male characters always possess many fatherly characteristics. Male and female readers alike respond to a hero who provides guidance and reassurance, while demanding loyalty and respect in return. As a male reader, I think what excited me most about the BOW STREET trilogy was the secret “male” subtext—the male search for a father. Both Grant Morgan and Nick Gentry are drawn to prove themselves to the older Ross Cannon, though in opposite ways. Grant plays the “good son” and Nick the “bad son” but both want Ross’ attention and respect.

Being a huge STAR TREK fan, (like Teresa) I always think of Spock’s profound comment on Vulcan civilization, “the father image holds much meaning for us.” I think that’s true of all romance novels, and especially true of the novels of Lisa Kleypas!

Now, can we also comment on the fact that older men usually have much more MONEY than younger men? <VBG>

Even when I was in my 20’s, I didn’t go for those guys. Number one, they had no experience in bed. You could tell by the way they kissed! Not that I was “that kind” of girl!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. But then I met my husband - we were 22 - and he is definetely an old soul with a vest for life. All of my crushes - Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, Raymond Cruz from The Closer - are all men who’ve lived a little and don’t really suffer foolishness, especially in themselves.

By the way, I went to high school with Mario Lopez. I’ll just leave it at that.

As long as we’re talking celebrity boyfriends, I nominate Victor Garber (he’s on some new show but I fell in love with him on Alias). Could watch him smolder and glare for hours on end.

He’s multitalented. Sings, Dances, Acts on Stage and Screen.

Gay, naturally.

I just like men old or young as long as they are men and not boys.  The right 25 year old can offer just as much as a man in his 40s.  The key is, as it has always been, to find the right one.  Thanks Lisa for including that picture of Russell Crowe, as evidenced by my entry here it has made it hard to concentrate on work.

I think you should speak up for “old” men next, Lisa.  You know--like Sean Connery

I *TOTALLY* agree with Lisa.  Hooray for the middle-aged man, that dashing man-about-town who’s been around the block once or twice, that experienced and mature fella who really knows how to treat a woman like a Lady…

...say, have I mentioned that my 39th birthday is coming up next month?

Mike, thankfully a bit young yet to be a “Dirty Old Man”

Grrrrrreat topic, Lisa!

Larry, you make some very interesting points, the whole father thing. As has everyone actually, lol.

I also married a man 15 years older than myself and the attraction of being well-established, more wordly, more life-experienced all came into play, I’m sure.

On the other hand, I think a lot of women become much less inhibited sexually as they get older so that’s certainly a plus for any lucky man in his 20’s hooking up with an older woman.

Oh, and I always think of Cary Grant in the same way, BTW.  In his first movies he seemed young and unformed, very callow.  But once he hit his stride in his late 30s—and then in his Hitchcock phase some time later—whew!  That’s when he really became that icon “Cary Grant.”

Then again…

“All day, all night—Cary Grant
That’s all I hear from my wife—Cary Grant
What can he do dat I can’t?
Big deal, big star—Cary Grant”

(Alan Sherman, speaking for us middle-aged shlubs everywhere)

Give me a middle aged man any day.  If you ever geta chance watch the old Dukes of Hazzard and pay close attention to how adorable Bo Duke was.  Then watch an episode of Smallville from a year or two ago and check out Jonathan Kent.  How is it possible for anyone to be that much better looking than he was 25-30 years ago?  It is just not fair.

Is there such a thing as a *dirty old woman*? LOL

I think everyone’s right that older men definitely gain something that younger men just don’t have enough experience to match. Usually.

My husband and I met during our first year of University, when we were both only 19.

Yet, even then, although his physical appearance was a lot more youthful or “babyish”, he has always been an old soul. He’s always had that respectful, soulful, caring personality that makes me think of someone older.

Now that his body and face has filled out to match, he’s absolutely irresistable. Stay Away! 

Tami, Yes, Joan Collins.

OMG KariBelle, I couldn’t believe that was John Schnider in Smallville..love him in that! He’s still got it!!

Speaking as an ‘older woman’ (I’m 51), I definitely prefer the middle-aged man!  Now if I could just find one! 

I think Lisa summed it quite nicely about the middle-aged man.  The young ones are nice to look at, but for substance, give me a middle-aged man everytime.

--dorothy

KC, some of us women are just fortunate enough to find that young man who has the more mature personality.  It seems like my husband has always had those traits that I find attractive in the middle-aged man.  (Maybe that’s why we have been together for 20 years now. )

Nothing wrong with eye-candy, but the middle-aged man is the complete package:  Pierce Brosnan, Russell Crowe, etc.

You’ve definitely got a point, Lisa backed up with excellent examples ! But when I consider that these men are all old enough to be my father, a part of me can’t help recoling a bit. Maybe it’s just me. And besides, not all young men are callow and uninteresting...I promise!

Erm...that was “recoiling”, sorry.

My husband and I met six years ago and we are both middle-aged.  My husband always says that he wished we had met when we were in our 20’s, but to tell you the truth, I don’t know that I would have been drawn to him back then.  The things I love most about him - his rapier wit, humor and compassion - are not qualities that are fully developed in a young man.  From the things he’s told me, he was a bit of a jerk in his 20’s. 

But my hubby now is a mature (usually) man that’s been around the block and knows how to appreciate things.  We have fun together.  I have a comfort level in my relationship that I never experienced in my 20’s (or 30’s).

As far as celebrity middle agers, I’d have to go with:

Tom Selleck
Robson Green
Sean Bean

Sam Sheppard.

When I was in my twenties, I thought he was so very handsome.  I’m now about to turn 41 and still find the older guys attractive. I like to look at the younger guys, I just don’t think we’d have anything in common.

But where has Sam gone to?

I must agree that older men are more appealing and attractive.  I am now 33, but in my late teens I found Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, and Mel Gibson incredibly sexy.  Which is probably why I married someone 10 years older than me!!
I really enjoy reading books in which the hero is 10+ years older than his love.

Mia

My first post ever at squawradio:

I’m only 26 years old and the oldest man I’ve ever dated was 31 years old.  Though I don’t have much experience with older men, I have found that the one 31 year old I dealt with was mature beyond his years.  But then again comparing a 25 year old guy to a 31 year old doesn’t give me much to compare from.  But I’ve got to agree that an older man is just a better.  At least it seems that way from what I’ve heard from friends.  And I do love reading about older men in books!  Give me a George Clooney over an Ashton Kutcher any day

Hear, hear!

It could be that some of the things we love best about older men are the same things we like about ourselves as we get older:  more patience, more kindness, more experience… (and I mean that in more than one way, thankyouverymuch)

Mmm.  Clooney.

I think...I should find one my own age (which isn’t that far from middle age anyway) and use up whatever’s left of the frequent and more aspect, then enjoy the middle age thing as it shows up.

Derspite liking eye candy (shuddup, Teresa!) I love middle-aged men. Even when I was a kid, I lusted after the older guys with accomplishments and histories and stories.

And NEVER to miss a promotional opportunity when it’s dropped in my lap...the hero of HOT DISH (Steve Jaax) is definitely in his mid-40s and worn around the edges. He sort of remins me of an older Harry Braxton for those of you who read AS YOU DESIRE

Does anybody still get shivers when they hear Sam Elliot’s growl?  Even if he’s doing a beef council commercial?

Personally I prefer younger men. I don’t know why, but it usually happens that I like someone and he’s a year or more younger than me. I believe though that it’s not age that makes a man. I’ve met 18 year old boys/men who had more brains and sense of reality than some 40 year old men I knew.  It’s one’s character that makes the difference and how much that character appeals to you. Middle aged men for me are just...old. I don’t mind conversing with them or hanging out, but I’d rather have someone my age(24) or 3-4 years older than me , than someone whom my code of honour will compell me to treat with outmost respect bc of the age difference.(I was brought up to respect my elders and treat them accordingly)

YES, Teresa.  That man could talk me into just about anything!

I do like middle aged men better.  I mean George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Gerard Butler (he might still be in his 30s, not sure), Hugh Jackman, Alec Baldwin (my mom’s favorite, she says he’s handsome), etc.  Unfortunetly I am only twenty right now so...yeah I don’t really see me dating a 40+ year old man.  Guys my age are so very immature and they just aren’t suave and pulled together like older men.  They still think wearing pants hanging around their knees is something that is attractive.   I like my guy well brought together with a little mess on the edges; not totally falling apart.  I am looking forward to someday hopefully being married to my own handsome middle aged man.  Someone who will open the door for me, and be thoughtful enough to surprise me with flowers every once in a while.  I do also like the 30+ year olds.  They’re are sort of on the verge of middle age right?  Hurrah for middle agers!

I must say, I prefer the younger men.  I think someone else said this earlier, but I just don’t feel as if I’d be able to be goofy around a middle-aged man, or that he would understand all my issues.  If he has learned valuable life lessons that I haven’t learned yet, is he really going to want to be around while I learn them?  AND, am I going to want to have him around trying to teach them to me quickly, when I just want to figure them out on my own?  (This is what happened the one time I went with a guy around 10 years older than me- super annoying)

Young guys also seem to have an earnestness that old men don’t have, which I’m attracted to. 

Having said that, though, I do find myself attracted to the older celebrities.  Johnny Depp and George Clooney are on my list, of course, but my favorite middle-aged man is Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensiblity (he is getting into old man territory now- he’s 60 this year!).

Oh, you kidding me—can you say Sean Connery?????? (okay, so he’s more than middle age, but who cares!!!) LOL

Lois

PS - Just read the entries above. . . see Teresa agrees with me on Sean! LOL

Lois

Hooray for middle-aged men---mmmm!  Yes, I am guilty of checking out the eye candy, but I find older men much sexier!  I’m 40 and my dh is 42 and even though I thought he was so handsome when we were in our 20’s, he’s even better now.

All of the above mentioned men, especially Hugh Jackman, Colin Firth, Clive Owen and Pierce Brosnan......and although he may fall into “old man” territory, Sean Connery is still sexy

Did I hear someone call Sean Connery—OLD?  I know I just couldn’t have heard that right !!!  He may be on the backside of—well whereever that is now—but none of these guys can hold a candlestick to the master himself.

He could just sit there and do nothing but talk to me in that gorgious accented voice and I would melt in my shoes.

How appropriate!  My 18-year-old niece just stopped by and was raving about this 42-year-old man who works with her who is “sexier than Johnny Depp”.  I suggested that she find out if he had any sons her age!

I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned James Purefoy yet.  I learned about his gorgeousness on the Squawk.  He’s not too shabby for 42.

I honestly don’t know, personally I think it really depends on the males themselves. Some guys act older and they’re barely in their twenties and some guys act soo immature and they’re right into their 40’s. But as for dating-wise, I’d prefer someone my own age. I’m 21, I’m still in college, I want someone who would understand the stress I go through b/c of a class, not someone who would probably brush it off b/c he already passed that part of his life and his world isn’t hindered with school, but with his career. And eventhough I do agree with you Lisa about most men my age, I would rather expierence those life altering events that make them the men they are when they hit their 40’s.

Big OOPS!  I made a booboo naming the wrong Sam as being soooo handsome, you’re right Teresa, it’s Sam Elliot and not Sheppard.... I’m such a goof ball

I love all your stories about your own middle-aged DHs..some of you caught them early which is great. Sad to say the middle-aged men in my country tend to either be snagged already or interested in young ladies only!

Connie, Harry Braxton is one of my all time favorite heroes. And As You Desire… What a book! Can’t wait for Hot Dish!!

OMG! I’m married to a middle aged man?  I never thought of it that way.  I suppose that I’m middle aged too!  But I must say, my DH is one of those men who looks better now than he did in his teens and early 20’s. 

Dh was one of those guys in high school that was just too skinny.  Now at 43, he’s a man who can wear a suit!  You know, tall, slim, no washboard abs, but nice.

I didn’t grab him until we were in our late 20’s!

Yes, I’m in total agreement with Lisa.
I just wish I matched DH.

Pierce Brosnan needs on the list also, although he may be excessively pretty!  But he has shown a willingness to commit! YUMMY!

I’m in total agreement with Suzy Q2.  Sean Connery all tha way!

Did anyone see Boston Legal last week when Denny Crane and his buddy are/were both trying to seduce the very middle-aged Shirley, and what she said about being"VERY good in bed”? I’m applauding that storyline (except for the silly boxing match). How often do we see middle-aged women portrayed as hot and sexy! Although that show pushes the limits on a variety of subjects

Morgancaitlin, I was a “younger lady” when I met my middle-aged future husband, lol!

hmmm...maybe it’s my age, but at this point i definitely prefer guys in my age range...partly b/c it seems like theres more in common and also like someone else mentioned, when you realize that some of these people are definitely old enough to be your father, it kind of changes your perspective on things

then again, it also depends on the man...you have some 45 year olds that act like theyre 2 and then you have 19 year olds that act like theyre 50....so who knows :D

though i have to say, people like Brad Pitt seem ageless

*goes off dreaming of Brad Pitt’s body in fight club*

Terri
you are so right Sean Connery and Sam Elliot my other favorite James Spader from Boston legal he was in a movie called White Palace with Susan Sarandon where he played the younger man, Hugh Laurie, when I read all this novels he is in my head that wonderful english voice.
Connie just read AYD beautiful
Ms Dodd you look gourgeous in your new photo.
Right now all I can think about is Channing Tatum check out anything on him on the web

I think I’m a fan of men in general.

I’d prefer going out with someone my own age; it’s a bit strange to think of guys who are my parents age as sexy, but I like some older characters: House, Giles, Keith (Veronica Mars), Jayne (I think Adam Baldwin is in his 40s), Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow or JM Barrie… But even guys in their 30s seem a bit too old, too; I don’t think I’m mature enough for anyone much older than I am.

tami, I saw that episode of Boston Legal.  It was great.  I also wish there were more older women portrayed like Shirley.  Hopefully the trend is changing, though.  There was Alison Janney in TWW, Christine Lahti on Studio 60 (only 2 episodes so far, but still), Lena Olin on Alias, Kristine Sutherland on Buffy, Rose on Everwood…

Will you all please stop calling people in their 40’s “middle-aged”?  It may be true, but do you have to keep rubbing it in?

This blog makes me remember when I was in High School and very exasperated with immature high school boys I told my friends that I couldn’t wait to get to college because college men were so mature.  LOL!  I remember being dead serious about it.

My preferred age for a man?  I want someone old enough to have learned a few of life’s lessons, but young enough to put these lessons into practice--frequently, vigorously, and with enthusiasm.

My mother always said (when I was younger) that my dad was “better” when he turned 40. I never understood what she was talking about until my own husband turned 40. I am 34. He is more settled, and my fave… his own body is starting to ummm.....betray him (that makes my imperfections less targetable!)

Ever since was 18 I have liked older men, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnam, Antonio Banderas, etc.  Now I am still along that trend. Hugh Jackman and the like.

Our love life has always been pretty good, but now he seems to be more caring and understanding than he was when we were younger. I’m sure a lot of that comes from learning over the years. Also there is laughter included! (In a good way.)

So in a nutshell, older men (not old geezers) are better!
Angela

Check out the new Vanity Fair with George Clooney on the cover and an absolutely scrumptious photo shoot plus great article!!

I guess I’ve always loved older men!  But I don’t think just because they are older, they know what to do with it!

I’ve loved Johnny Depp since I was in my teens (he’s about ten years older than me!)
Other favorites:  Brad Pitt, Ewan McGregor, Hugh Laurie, HUGH JACKMAN....did I mention Johnny Depp?!!?!
Orlando Bloom is pretty easy on the eyes though! YUM!
Alot of the time I find myself loving guys with accents! Something sexy about it.

Phwoar, George Clooney, my god, I’d step over my mother for a shot at that guy! 

When it comes to perving, Hugh Laurie, Viggo Mortensen, delectable George, etc, I’d definitely go the older guy, BTW, Hugh Jackman is just as hot in real life as on the screen - yes, I’ve actually seen him, I’ve never drooled so much in my life! 

But in reality, I haven’t been out with anyone older than me, this isn’t a conscious decision, I just haven’t met an older guy in real life who wasn’t some sleaze in a bar!  I absolutely 100% would not say no though, I love how about the age of 30 guys get that thickness in their upper shoulders, arms and back.....my god, is that hot, or what?!