SquawkRadio Comments

Christina, where there words to this post? Because all I saw were drool-worthy photos of my favorite pirate Capt. Jack Sparrow *melts*.

Wonderful topic btw.

I just love Pirates snd Capt. Jack is definitely great eye candy but my all time Pirate is Errol Flynn as Capt. Blood(Jaime).

Squawk Alert:  This months issue of MORE(Diane Keaton on the cover) magazine is out and Eloisa’s article is wonderful.  The pictures are great.

Ok there really were words to that post. Sorry I missed them first round hehe.

Ok I’m now known as:
Mad Ethel Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham)

Favorite pick-up line is: I’ve crushed seventeen men’s skulls between me thighs!

My original line (scary): Want say ye follow me map to fine me treasure?

A wee poem for that most sauciest o’ minxes, Squinty Chains Stormwatcher:

We thank thee for praisin’ our scribbles.
Yer endorsement was one without quibbles.
Sellin’ books be like fishin’
First the writin’ then wishin’
But with friends like ye, we’ll get some nibbles.

(Next time we’ll push the publisher to plant some more pictures o’ Mr. Depp throughout - perhaps in lieu o’ the authors’ pictures ...)

Cap’n Slappy
http://www.talklikeapirate.com

Great minds must think alike---I just put up a pirate display in the library where I work, with pictures from Howard Pyle’s pirate book, a great classic full of brooding bad boys.

Everybody thinks a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet is R. But it’s really P, cause it’s an R missing its leg.

And what does a pirate call a cute pirate girl? Aye candy.

I could go on, but you’ll throw me overboard. Fun post!

How much do pirates pay for earrings?
a bucaneer (a buck an ear)

Ahoy me buxom beauties.  Allow me to introduce meself.  Captain Charity Rackham (that’s RACK-em), cousin to Mad Ethel, at yer service.  I sail the seas aboard me own favorite vessel, the Black Doom of the Caribbean.  Me crew be all lasses and a finer crew there never was.

No mates aboard, ye ask?  Ahhhh, let me set yer mind to ease.  There be a fair number of brawny lads in me service, if ye get me drift (wink) for servicin’ be what they do best. 

Me favorite pick-up lines, ye ask?  Well, when the seas are calm and I’m at me leisure I’ve been known to charmingly ask one of me brawny lads, “Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!” But when the seas are rough and time is precious a direct order be what is needed. 

“You!  Pants Off!  Now!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I ended up with Mad Bess Kidd...twice...not sure I like it....
Tried another one site and ended up with “Calico” Shakira Bonny! I think I’ll go with that one! 

And my ship....The Vishous Strumpet...err, I mean The Vicious Strumpet, yeah…

Fave pick-up line is also: 4. I’ve crushed seventeen men’s skulls between me thighs!
...but I also like…
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.  Seems unigender to me.

Mine:  I’ve lost me many a good mate in these here hills…

And Cap’n....after reading some of your Greatest Hits this morn....I KNEW IT! Swashing your buckle is DIRTY! LMAO

And my faves: I believe the word ye’re lookin’ for be, “Pirate.” The only exception to this is when a pirate is dishonest with Cap’n Slappy – then the word is, “Corpse.”

Any sailor can get caught up in the “fore and aft” and “stem to stern” debate, but ye cannot argue with a big man what says, “The Pointy-Pointy to the Pooh-Pooh-Pi-Do!” Doc Burgess, a man who thinks facts are important argued with him once - ONCE.

Ok...that’s as far as I got for today...oh, wait...Cap’n Crunch....ROTFLMAO!! *swipes eyes* Whhhooo....good one!

Capn Slappy, you’d better watch yourself in this crowd, you know that romance writers and readers have a real weakness for pirates!  (Especially ones named Chumbucket!)

Ah, Cap’n Slappy, so glad ye could overcome the cursed technology t’ visit Squawk Radio! And ye came bringin’ a rhyme! So ‘tis true what they say about pirates—they’re charmin’ until they blow ye down!

So to speak.

Squawkers, in’t the Talk Like a Pirate site fun? The book is hysterical, too, one of those things I leave sitting around the house to pick up occasionally when I want to laugh. Of course, my housekeeper picked it up and now thinks I’m crazy ... some people will never have PIRATTITUDE.

Red Ethel Vane here,

This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship’s wheel down his pants. The bartender says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship’s wheel down the front of your pants?”
And the pirate says…
Aaargh, it’s driving me nuts!!

What do pirates pay for their drinks with?
Bar Nickels (barnacles)

Aye, its kiss the gunner’s daughter for me!

"Avast, me hearty!  Is that a sword in them thar pantaloons, or are ye just happy to see me?”

If you’re in the mood for some pirates, I know where to find them!  Every year my town throws a big pirate-themed party called “Gasparilla” (picture Mardi Gras gone swashbuckled <g>.  Parades, floats, beads, beer, flotilla of boats led by a giant pirate ship loaded with drunken pirate/businessmen (a re-enactment of when our town was actually invaded by the dread pirate, Jose Gaspar).  Two weeks from today, and quite a party!  I can’t wait!

I be yet another o’ the lovely Rackham lasses. Dirty Prudentilla be my name, and don’t ye fergit it.

Cap’n Slappy, I must tell ye that me better half be a teacher o’ preschoolers (scurvy little buggers always harin’ about ye know, but lovable little tikes nonetheless), and he likes ta take “Talk Like a Pirate Day” into the ol’ classroom whene’re it come around. They always have fun with that one. Arrr.

Welcome to the Squawk Radio, Cap’n! ‘Tis nice ta have ye here.

Ahoy, me Squawkettes. I be Mad Bess Flint of the Hades’ Evil Cannon, the scourge of the seven seas. D’ye have a cutlass thar, what in need of a good scabbard?

Loved Dee’s joke!

Captain Bess Bonney, here.  I’ve been a TLAPD supporter for a couple of years, and I’m overjoyed to see it further promoted!!  My favorite pick up line? You show me your plank, and I’ll show you my treasure chest.  Time to shove off, ye scurvy wenches!!

I’d best be mindin’ me pints and quarts in these waters! But then, as a pirate, I’ve grown accustomed to bein’ surrounded by saucy wenches - it’s just the kind o’ dire situation I’ve trained for me whole life!

I don’t know where me colleague, Ol’ Chumbucket be! I was countin’ on his “Matrimonial Aura o’ Taken-ness” to neutralize our innate piratical sexuality - but it seems I’ll have to stand alone and hope that my “Seven Months at Sea Man Funk” will have a calmin’ effect on the pirate hysteria.

Me Darlin’ Elizabeth! Tell yer lad, “Ahoy” from yers truly. I’m glad to see he’s started the wee ones when they’re ... well ... wee. In fact, we hear from teachers every year at all grade levels (Aye, at the universities as well!) that infuse their students with pirattitude every Sept. 19th!

I’m now a huge fan o’ SquawkRadio! So classy! It’s kind o’ takin’ a scurvy pirate and makin’ him pose for a portait by a fancy painter, though - I just can’t figure out what to do with me hands!

We did Talk Like a Pirate Day last year at my library.  We all dressed up with eye patches, big earings, skulls and crossbones, etc.  We put signs all over that said things like Aargh, Ahoy Matey, and Shiver me Timbers.  It was all quite silly and lots of fun.  My pirate name is Dirty Ethel Vane.

Avery -

We must be related

Red Ethel Vane and Dirty Ethel Vane

Meet me at the Skull & Bones Pub for a pint!

Terri G, I used to live down there.  Gasparilla is indeed a very fine time!

Cap’n Slappy called us “classy!”

Wow. It must be really rough at sea.

Speak for yerself, Xtina!  I’m the classiest wench in the fleet.  (Especially when compared to Cap’n Slappy’s cabin boy!)

Cap’n Slappy’s cabin boy be a wench?!?!? Hmm… Cunning ol’ pirate. 

- Red Ethel Kidd

Yes, Teresa, that’s what all the guys say about you. You’re the classiest wench in the fleet.

And let’s all be thankful that, in his poem, Slappy didn’t decide to find a way to add “dribbles.”

Thankee all fer the kind words. It makes even this piratey ol’ heart get all soft and mushy.

And just to let ye know, me spouse, Mad Sally (who ye might have seen on the TV box) is penning a book of advice fer the pirate girls! It’s due out this fall. We’ll keep ye updated.

Thanks again. Pirate talk is just fun, and Slappy ad Sally and I have been havin’ more than our fair share of fun with it.

Ol’ Chumbucket

I never said ‘e was a wench but if ye tart ‘im up in a wig and some rouge, he makes a passably fine lass on a moonless night!

Oops, I didn’t mean Teresa Medeiros.  I meant Buxom Bess, the Tart of Tortola!

Mad Bess Kidd here. 

Apparently I’m more than a little bit crazy.  That explains it.

Hee - my verification code is blood31.  Too funny!

Ashefrog,

I’d love to meet for a pint, or maybe some Rum.  We can figure out how to get back at Mum and Da for giving us practically the same name.  And Ethel of all things.

Welcome, Ol’ Chumbucket! Keep us updated about the book for the pirates lasses-- I’m alway on the look-out fer more pirate pick-up lines. Occasionally, the ol’ ball-and-chain has to be coaxed with kind and gentle suggestions, like yer #1—“You!  Pants Off!  Now!”

Too Fun!

I hit four different web sites and got …

Dan The Danger-Prone Head Chef of the The Disgraceful Knave. Call a head for reservations. And noooo that’s not someone’s finger floating in your soup… At least its not from someone who will be missin’ it if you get my meaning.

Buckaneer Fierce Stubble captain of The Disgraceful Knave of the South. The woman only shaves her legs once a year… with her trusty cutlass.

Cowerin’ Anne Slaughter head honcho of The Horror of Hell. That’s pronounced h-o-r-r-o-r with an “H” not a “W’. Little Anne is a wee bit jumpy. Shoots first, doesn’t bother asking questions later…Because you’re dead mate. 

Commodore Charlotte Captain of The Fear of the Privateer. During the Pirating off season dear Charlotte is the Head mistress of an exclusive boarding school for Distinguished Gentlemen’s mistresssss…Wards, I mean wards.

Want a pick up line? How about…
Ahoy thar matey. Is that a peg leg in yea pocket, or arh yea juss glad tah sea me?

Dread Pirate Bonney here.  ‘Twas a fun site t’ visit fer me and me ‘offspring.

Since my daughter is determined to be the first official Pirate Princess, she keeps PIRATE SOUL on her nightstand. 

Hey, that’s an idea, one of you squawkers should write a book about a beautiful young pirate lass who turns out to be a long lost princess???? Could work.

I actually worked and sailed on a couple of tall ships.  Stepping onto the royal foot ropes about 90 feet up really is like stepping into history.  The whole world is laid out before you.

But getting back to pick up lines.  I met my husband working on the ship, me on the mainmast and he on the foremast.  He used to yell “Come over and play on my yard, little girl.” How could I refuse?

We were married onboard ship about 6 months after we met.

I’m either known as Castaway Charlotte the Pegleg or Mad Jenny Kidd.

Got a problem with that?  Ever heard of Split personalities…

Avast, I came up with the name Cutthrout Constance. I’ll sail the seven seas and winter over on some tropical isle with that name. Now I think I’ll be seeing about polishing me cabin boys cutlass, if you ladies will excuse me.
And Christina..... “Of course, my housekeeper picked it up and now thinks I’m crazy.” I’m not sure you can blame that all on the book.

CJ said…
I actually worked and sailed on a couple of tall ships.  Stepping onto the royal foot ropes about 90 feet up really is like stepping into history.  The whole world is laid out before you.

But getting back to pick up lines.  I met my husband working on the ship, me on the mainmast and he on the foremast.  He used to yell “Come over and play on my yard, little girl.” How could I refuse?

We were married onboard ship about 6 months after we met.

THAT’S A FABULOUS STORY, CJ!!!

Ahoy there lassies.  Better late than never I s’pose.

I’m either Slouchin’ Bette Cooke or Captain Bess Bonney dependin’ on who you ask.  But either way I can swash me buckle with the best of ‘em.

I do like pick up line #2. RAMMING SPEED! but I think I’d rather go with “Why don’t ye let me have a go at raisin’ yer Jolly Roger, matey?

I vacationed down in Ocracoke this summer and everything there is about Black Beard.  I got my Pirate Girl sticker for my truck while down there and even got me a skull and crossbones black tank top.  Gotta love that skull and crossbones....

Great topic!  (even if I came late to the party)

Arrr, CJ wins the prize for Most Authentic Nautical Lass!

And, Ol’ Chumbucket, we be proud as albatrosses that ye’ve graced us with your presence. Welcome aboard Squawk Radio, Matey.

And I saw yer lovely Sally on “Wench Swap”! And a fine job she did, too, bringin’ joy and good humor to a family in sore want of both. Give her our regards.

I have a great picture
Of Johnny Depp as Captn Jack

Ahoy, me saucy wenches! 

They call me Capn’ Annie Hornigold.  Me cabin boy, a brawny lad I picked up on the Pacific Isles, calls me Cap’n Nimble Toe.  Arrr, he’s a good lad.

Those that sail the seven seas can hear me boom, “Ramming Speed”, to hardy buccaneers. 

They all show me their booty when I tell ‘em, “Hand me your jewels, I’ll be boardin’ ya now.”

Me name be…

Cap’n Evelyn Firecrotch.

There’s nothing else to say after that.

So who gave you that name, J Perry? Your husband?

And Santa .. Cap’n Nimble Toe???? Ahahahahaha!

Aye, on a count o’me flexibility!

San, I really wish the word, “nimble” was “camel.”

Xtina, I know it, makes me sound like I’ve got a scorching case of something.

I had to look up an online pirate dictionary (life before google… can’t… remember), and I swear there has to be some naughty way to use “Futtock Shrouds,” but I’m just not woman enough to think of it, so here’s my line:

“I’ll wager your Cockswain could get me ALL the way to shore!”

And I think I’ll call meself Squidback Molly, for reasons better left unsaid.

Aaaaahhahahahcoughcough! LMAO
I can’t believe that J Perry Stone had the canon balls to say what her name was! EEeewww ,I hope that whatever she HAS isn’t Contagious!

Commodore Charlotte

Seaman Wong the Scurvy..

arrrrrrrrrr.

someone find me some lemons..

You’re the one who found it for me, Julie!  (Should I suspect that you might have had something to do with the surname???)

No JP, you’ll have to blame Firecrotch on the combo of what your parents named you and the piranical search engin! You know that I am nothing if not honest… too honest sometimes, no?
Signed Julie,
The Most Innocent (because I AM) looking 45 yearold you will ever see, honstly!

THAT’S HonEstly!

I NEED Spell Check, Connie!

OMIGOSH!!

How did I miss this? *grumbling Darned graduate school applications* This is too funny. Love it, X-tina! I am *so* going out to buy this book now!

LOL!

LdyB

That’s the spirit, ldyblkny!!! Buy the book! Love the book! Saturate your neighborhood with copies of the book! That’s what a pirate and an author wants to hear!

Ye’ve warmed me salty heart!

Cap’n Slappy
http://www.talklikeapirate.com