Connie reports from the judicial frontlines: I have seen your peers and it ain’t pretty.
I have spent the last week on jury duty and I am going to be doing the same thing this week. It’s been eye-closing experience. Sitting in the bowels of the Hennipen County Government Center waiting to be called up and interviewed as a potential juror is about as thrilling as watching my chin hair grow. But it has also been an eye-opening one. I can now say with some conviction that should I ever be charged with a criminal offense I shall throw myself on the mercy of the court and let the judge decide my fate. And I suggest any future felons out there do the same. Why? Simple.
Because I might be on your jury. Or, god help us all, Eloisa or Teresa. I am fairly confident Liz and Christina wouldn’t make it through the interview process. Like, betting money confident. But then, I didn’t think I would either. Oh, I know. You could always hope you’ll have a box full of Lisas sitting judgment on you. But I am here to tell you that I have spent a week with your peers and the chances are overwhelming that you’d get me or Teresa or Eloisa. Or the lady that smells like cat urine. And if that isn’t enought to keep you awake at night, I don’t know what is.
I can’t tell you the particulars of anything right now. But as soon as my service is up, I’m free to babble at will. In the meantime…
Have any of you ever been on a jury? When and for what? What was the experience like for you? Tell me. Tell me all.