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Without a doubt, the aspect of empty-nesting Adored Spouse and I looked most forward to was travel. Because we would have all this newly disposable income, you see. Muhahahahaaaaa! As soon as we discovered the error of this little assumption (sometime around when the first tuition bill payment came due) we reined in our expectations.  Hey! We were still footloose and fancy-free. With a little budgeting, we’d certainly still be able to go anywhere in the world we wanted especially seeing how we are part of a techno-savvy generation with a plethora of cool internet tools at our disposal. We only needed to look up a deeply discounted flight to a fabulous five star resort with last minute rooms available at ten percent their usual rate and poof! The next day we’d be there!

So far, the closest I’ve come to a five start resort is a little jpeg. Instead, I’ve wasted hours of aimless wandering through billions of websites promising fabulous deals at fantastic savings. Don’t get me wrong. I like wasting hours and aimless wandering, either physical or mental, is rather my forte, but not when I am being thwarted in my quest for post-child-rearing bliss. I don’t ask for much. I figure I deserve (among many things) a beach, a massage, a Michelin 3 star dinner, a fascinating tour guide of amazing historic sites, perfect weather, fabulous sports–adventures, and tranquil, noise-free evenings alone with my husband and only the stars as witness. Additionally, these things ought to be free, gratis in repayment for Dearest Husband and I giving the world a kid who isn’t a sociopath and might actually someday pay taxes (Disclaimer: Don’t hold your breath, world.) If we can’t have these things free, they ought to be cheap. And if they can’t be cheap, why oh why does every travel site online mercilessly tease me with daily e-mails that suggest that if I faithfully follow the perpetually cascading pages of endlessly inter-connected travel sites I will eventually, some day, some blessed hour, be rewarded by finding myself in the glorious inner sanctum, the Holy Grail of Travel agents, where tickets for Universal Studios, Orlando, cost one cent and five star lodging comes with it. Meals, too.

That’s how I spent yesterday afternoon. Looking for this mythical travel site and a package deal Universal Studios. Why Universal Studios, you ask? That doesn’t sound much like it would fulfill your list of requirements. You’re right, it doesn’t. But it fulfills Doodah’s and Beloved of Doodah’s. That’s right. They’re coming with us. Why? I don’t know! Things like this happen with Doodah all the time. It verges on the supernatural . I sorta recall telling her that her father and I were going to Florida in March and have a vague notion I said something about The Keys. After that I must have entered some sort of fugue state because the next thing I remember, I’m hanging up the phone having just purchased a couple of plane tickets for Doodah and Beloved of Doodah’s to Florida. Weird. But I digress.

So my questions for you all are: What was your favorite vacation ever and where was it (see, I still have hope!)? And where the hell are these fabulous travel sites that offer wonderful deals and packages?