SquawkRadio

In my professional I-watch-people-all-the-time-so-I-know-these-things way, I have decided that there are four personality types: 

1) Snogger Dodgers – people who get things done and get them done right, the first time, the only time, and b’god the best time.

2) Slooper Snails – people who never get things done and, frankly, don’t seem to care.

3) Spoinker L’Doinks – people who are always trying to get things done, but can’t because they either don’t know what really needs done or can’t decide what needs to be done first.

And, last but not least, the

4) Snickety Wiggins – people who get things done, but barely on time and usually leave skid marks as they sliiiide into their deadline, hair on fire and butts in a sling, hearts beating a frantic pace.

My cousin, Marty, is a Snogger Dodger. She’s had her wedding planned since she was three years old, and has all of her tax forms are from the last twenty-seven years color-coded. She has the clothes hanging in her closets from longest to shortest, puts up her Christmas ornaments the day after Thanksgiving and takes them down the day after Christmas. She eats wholesome, home cooked meals and has never been a pound overweight. We all hate her.

My mother is a Slooper Snail. She enjoys life, does what she wants, when she wants, and doesn’t really care about troublesome things like deadlines. She takes a lovely nap every afternoon, never stresses over things, rarely raises her voice, and looks like she’s thirty-two even though she’s sixty+. We think she made a pact with the devil.

My next door neighbor, Matilda Headly, is a Spoinker L’Doink. Her entire life is in chaos. She’s always TRYING to get things done, but never seems to get there from here. Oddly enough, she THINKS she’s good at organizing and so is in charge of an awful lot of things – the Girl Scout cookie sale, the church bazaar, the local animal shelter’s Pets N Pats day.
She has folders, file cabinets, a Palm Pilot, and really big hair (I don’ t know why the big hair is a part of that scheme, but it is).  However, even while carrying around all of her organizational bounty, she’s forever telling us how tired she is, how people let her down, the way things didn’t/don’t turn out right because of the weather or a misunderstanding or some signs that were missing or place wrongly, or some other misfortune. Things seem to get done, though not well and usually not because of her. Things are much more likely to get done in spite of her.

I’m a Snickety Wiggin. I get things done, but barely. It takes every ounce of strength to push that rock up the last few inches of the hill. I can’t multi-task because that would mean I’d have to ‘change gears.’ Snickety Wiggins don’t ‘change gears.’ We strip them. Therefore we cannot ‘change gears’ until we finish our project, whatever that may be.
For example, I began to put up the Christmas Tree but then, while hanging the second strand of lights, someone called. I put down the decorations and answered the ten minute phone call. Three months later, my tree was still not decorated and I had lost the phone. I’m probably the only person in Orlando who put up their tree December 25th at eleven p.m.  Worse, it’s mid-February and It’s still up today.  And when I was writing my book (just out this month!) HOW TO ABDUCT A HIGHLAND LORD, if I got one email, it would distract me so badly that I wouldn’t write another word all day, EVEN IF IT WAS SPAM.

So, which are you? Are you a Snickety Wiggin procrastinator, too? Or are you a Spoinker L’Doink, the seems-organized-from-a-distance-but-isn’t-really? A Snogger Dodger, organized with a vengeance? Or a Slooper Snail, unorganized and doesn’t care? How does this affect the way you do things? Which would you be if you could chose? And, most importantly of all, when did you take down your Christmas Tree?

(Under extreme duress, we at Squawk Radio have gracefully bowed to nagging insistence of guest blogger Karen Hawkins and have agreed to shill for her newest venture...some blog she’s doing with some other people. Geesh. Some guest, huh? Anyway, you can go look. If you want to. You don’t have to. I just said I’d stick in the link, I didn’t promise anything after that. You know, you do have other things you ought to be doing. Just a reminder. You’re not getting any younger and you’r not getting anything done cruising around the internet gawking at the efforts of ....other people.  Or. you could stay here. We like you. We’ll take care of you. SqR)
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