SquawkRadio

From the administration Kitty Kuttlestone crawled from under Sir John’s dinner table sometime this morning to file the following report.
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You can see I totally glammed up for the Oscars. Had a little work done. Collagen, Botox, my stylist worked on me ALL night (thank you, Raoul) but hell, it’s the Oscars, right. You got it, flaunt it.  Which leads me to the stars. I got to be honest here. Oscar 2007 was a complete bore-fest. No swans, no little Lord Fauntleroy outfits, just homogeneously gorgeous women. YAWN. The damn stylists are taking the fun out of the red carpet show. And yet, I was still able to find a few “She didn’t!” moments with which to instruct the Squawkers and any other of you fashionsistas out there. (They’re all getting ready for RWA: Kleypas is speaking, you know.)

After stealing General Tom Thumb’s ringmaster’s coat, Jennifer Hudson struggles to keep the little guy prisoner beneath her skirt. (Come on! Why else would a grown woman shove her hands in her pockets --and what gown has pockets?-- as she walked the red carpet? Honest, Jenn, take ‘em out! You’re even embarrassing me!)

Jane Goodall, on hiatus from her chimpanzee sanctuary in Africa, shakes hands with the Wicked Witch of the North’s great-great-great-great-great granddaughter.
(You know, in my heart of grizzled hearts, I understand the concept of “letting a little girl look like a little girl,” but the whole “letting a middle-aged woman look like a frump” thing has me pole-axed. What happened, Meryl Streep? When your grandkids give you homemade necklaces, you can take ‘em off for big people parties...)

Straight from Italy and the set of HERCULES UNCHAINED, AGAIN, JLo arrives in her Juno costume.

When stopped on the carpet and asked what she hoped for for the evening’s celebration, Miss Beyonce Knowles said, “Peace. World peace,” and then went on to explain the shell design of her banner spells out “Miss Peace” in some language only Miss Beyonce knows.

New mom Gwenyth Paltrow takes the fun child enrichment skills she’s been practicing to new heights by wearing a dress she origami’d herself.
(Good for you, Gwen, you’re wearing a bra)

Not to be outdone, Cameron Diaz, straight off a much needed post-Justin vacation on the beach, shows off a few tricks the waitress at the bar showed her how to do with napkins.

Openly thrilled to have signed on as “tall broad” in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN V: WHATEVER, Nicole Kidman struts her stuff --and her scarlet macaw-- on the red carpet. The girl’s got a red thang goin’. (You guys did see the macaw’s head, didn’t you?)

When asked about the inspiration for her gown, Penelope Cruz said, “You’re kidding, right? It’s totally my seventh birthday’s Barbie Birthday cake with a real Malibu Barbie surrounded by oodles of frilly pink frosting. Only now I am the Barbie!”

There were some high high notes to SUnday’s little paean to consumerism. Helen Mirren completely bought it as THE QUEEN. In every way.