SquawkRadio

Dear Friends,

A few months ago, I asked for your advice and opinions about author photos, and here is the result! This is the photo that will go on the back of “Sugar Daddy.” Lisa-au-casual. It was taken by an incredibly talented photographer, Rolando Gomez, who is great at making women look their best. He finds the right angles and the right lighting, and he makes you feel comfortable and unselfconscious. The photo hasn’t been touched up or photoshopped . . . which leads to the following confession: Before the first picture was even taken, I was looking forward to that photoshopping.

I mean, even nineteen year-old models who weigh 105 pounds and have perfect skin and big wide-spaced eyes get photoshopped. You can take anyone and find things to improve. Whiter teeth, smaller waist, longer legs, darker or lighter hair . . . I was all ready for the full Katie Couric treatment.

At the moment, I weigh twenty pounds more than I did in the eighties, when I was frantically following the Jane Fonda workout video. Some parts of my body have succumbed to gravity, and after the birth of two children, my waistline will never be the same. I use wrinkle cream, and any number of lotions and potions, and I’m never sure if they’re making a difference.

But here is the great thing about being in my forties : I like myself so much more than I did in my twenties. I’ve become comfortable with me. I’m sure part of it is because of my husband, who has seen me at my worst, but looks at me through the eyes of love. He proclaims me a goddess as I shuffle through the house in my robe and fuzzy slippers, wearing glasses and a crooked ponytail. And I think there’s something really liberating about reaching your forties. You get a sense that life is to be lived and enjoyed, and that perfection is not the goal. In fact, perfection (and the pursuit of it) can get downright boring.

Thanks to Rolando, most of my flaws are hidden by the way I’m posed, and good lighting takes care of the rest. I could have asked him to pare down the waist and make me look longer, taller, younger, but as I looked at this photo, I thought, “You go, girl. Just the way you are.”

It’s a nice thing to be able to tell yourself.

Do you think society makes it hard for normal women to approve of ourselves as we are? Did you notice the recent furor over gorgeous Tyra Banks who has supposedly gotten “fat?” Have we gotten so accustomed to super-skinny models, and size-0 celebs like Keira Knightley and Kate Bosworth, that we now regard someone like Tyra as grotesquely overweight? As you get older, do you feel more comfortable in your skin, or are you still self-critical?