Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Teresa Makes An Important Squawk Announcement:  All Good Things…

Dearest Friends,
I suppose it was inevitable.  It happened to the Go-Go’s.  It happened to the Bangles.  And if you listen to Kitty Kuttlestone’s drunken ramblings in the podcast blog below this one, you know it’s happening to the chicks of Squawk Radio.  That’s right.  As of June 2nd, Squawk Radio will be closing its barn doors as a daily blog. 

Although some have tried to start ugly rumors about internal strife (Hush,!), the chicks of Squawk Radio are still clucking adoringly to each other.  As you can see from this recent photo taken at a Squawk gathering, we’re pretty proud of the fact that the six of us have managed to work in such creative close quarters for over two years with only a minimum of mud-slinging and hair-pulling.  (Except for Kitty, of course, but we’re all afraid to pull her hair because we’ve long suspected it’s one of Zsa Zsa Gabor’s old wigs.)

Working together on Squawk Radio has been one of the highlights of our careers (and this tells you pretty much all you need to know about our careers.) Look what we’ve accomplished in the past two years! There’s ... um ... there’s… (Eloisa taps Teresa frantically on the shoulder.  Teresa leans to Eloisa, who whispers in her ear) ... Oh, yeah! Led by our estimable Eloisa James, the Squawk authors and our devoted readers (that would be YOU!) formed an intrepid band of do-gooders to help a Hurricane Katrina family get back on their feet. How like our darling Eloisa to remember that!  I can promise you that whenever she’s not thinking of herself, she’s thinking of others. 

(Liz turns on her iPod really loud, blasting out a reggae jazz fusion of Afro-Cuban-Jamaican punk rock as performed by a Clash tribute band.) And yes!  How could I forget!  Every week Liz led us through exotic weekend music adventures that featured beloved old artists and introduced us to thrilling new ones.  (Teresa turns on her iPod even louder, drowning out Liz’s iPod with Bon Jovi’s LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER.)

And, um ... we ... (Christina passes a note to Teresa, who reads it) ... That’s right! Led by Christina Dodd and our Guest Blogger program, we introduced you to fabulous new authors like J. R. Ward, Elizabeth Vaughan and Jayne Ann Krentz! (Teresa turns on Christina and in a frenzied whisper points out that Squawk Radio cannot take credit for Jayne Anne Krentz.  Christina sulks and goes zipping off on her broom.) We provided a venue for authors who didn’t have their own blogs, chatted with New York editors, and introduced you to some of our all-time favorite books and authors through our Saturday Book Blogs. 

(Connie puts on an old Zsa Zsa wig and swigs gin from a bottle.) Yes, Connie, I was getting to that. You were Kitty. We know. Funny HaHa Kitty, interviewing guests repeatedly even when they begged for mercy, getting poor J. R. Ward drunk on pink flamingos, saying mean things about Russell Crowe when you were sleeping with him behind my back.  Don’t worry, Connie.  We’ll never forget Kitty!  (No matter how hard we may try.) Nor will we forget the artistic skill Connie displayed while drawing our early chicken counterparts.  (I know Liz will never forget her legendary purple muff!)

Now what was I saying again?  (Stop that, Lisa!  No, I don’t need any more lip gloss right now!  And my eyelashes are silky enough!  Stop fluffing my hair, will you?!) And yes, there was our wonderful Lisa, telling us which moisturizer and lipstick to buy so that we don’t end up looking like Kitty Kuttlestone in drag and waxing eloquent on the joys of really hot villains and the perfect pair of jeans. 

And I guess I have to crow(e) about my own accomplishments as the resident “Hot Guy” expert on Squawk Radio.  It was a dirty job but somebody had to download all of those pics of Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Depp, Daniel Craig, Gerard Butler… (Lisa, stop wiping the drool off of my chin! I can do it myself!  Put the powder puff away!)

So if we’re still having this much fun together (Quit trying to shove me away from the keyboard, Christina!), why are we leaving you in this heartless manner, you ask?  It’s not because we don’t love you enough.  It’s because we love you too much.  It’s so much fun hanging around here writing blogs for you and chatting in the comments that we can’t get anything else done.  (I haven’t even downloaded a new pic of Russell for months!)

So with Squawk Radio gone, what will we do with all of our spare time, you ask?  That’s the good news!  Because we’re going to write books.  Lots of books.  With heroes to die for and heroines you’d like to invite home for tea (or margaritas if you’re Kitty).  And you don’t have to worry about missing us too much.  You can still keep us on speed dial by visiting our websites and signing up for our individual newsletters.  We’ll each be posting our personal links in the next few days to make sure you have a way to keep in touch. 

image And now that I’ve locked all of the other chickens in the coop so I can cry without them making fun of me (just ignore any thumping or cursing you might hear), I can wax sentimental and tell you that Squawk Radio’s most important and treasured accomplishment was creating a community of like-minded readers who spoke our own language and were polite enough to listen to our meanderings on pretty much every subject known to womankind.  You e-mailed us.  You encouraged us.  You came to our signings and our Squawk gatherings with your beautiful smiles and your generous hearts.  You sent us chocolate chickens, stuffed chickens, Beanie Baby chickens, and crocheted chickens.  You made us laugh and cry by sharing your own stories and lives in the comments of this blog. 

You may have started out as our audience but you became our friends.  And that’s a gift we’ll continue to treasure long after our last blogs have posted. 

Don’t fly the coop yet!  We still have almost two weeks of blogs for you plus you didn’t think we’d leave without throwing a party, did you?  We’re throwing a big FAREWELL BASH CHAT over at Writerspace with a tentative date of Thursday May 31st.  We’ll let you know the date and time as soon as it’s confirmed so dig out those party hats and dancing shoes and get ready to boogie! 

And tune in Friday June 1st for our final Group Blog as Squawkers and some VERY special surprises!