SquawkRadio

Hi, everyone. I’m so excited to be here on Squawk! I’m a huge fan of all the writers here and yes, it’s true, I’ve know Christina forever!! I once looked after her two girls for a few days—a humorous tale given the fact I’m far more into pets than kids. At the time, I also wasn’t much into cooking, so everyone was terrified the girls would starve. Christina loaded my freezer and when that ran out, we did take-out. Well, except for one unfortunate meal involving some weird frozen thing I’d bought and apparently prepared wrong. They still talk about it…which is strange. I thought it was fine!

For those of you familiar with my books—feel free to ask anything! I’m in the mood to spill secrets.

I write. Given the 100+ books, I write a lot. Mostly because I love it. Writing is possibly the coolest thing in the world. There’s nothing else I would rather do with my day—okay, maybe sometimes I like to shop, too, but writing is really up there. I keep a fairly consistent writing schedule, I’m organized (which we’ll talk about tomorrow) and I manage my life really well. Or I did…until recently…when my life became all about…poop.

I have three pets, all of whom, go to the bathroom indoors. Nikki, possibly the world’s cutest dog, uses puppy pads. In Seattle, this is a good thing. Trust me, when it’s 38 degrees, windy and raining, you don’t want to be walking a dog. She has a couple of “bathrooms” and is very good about using them.

I also have two indoor cats who use a litter box. They’re both 14 and have never had an accident. Recently, I thought I’d reached a new high (or low—depending on your point of view) when Jake, my male cat, developed irritable bowel. Who knew cats could get it?? Apparently he’s become allergic to protein. When one is a cat, this is a problem.

I’ve seen an x-ray of his intestines and they are not a pretty place. So he’s on a special diet and an antibiotic and a steroid and he gets a vitamin B12 shot once a week. He seems to be improving. Speaking as the person to who is scooping the results of his irritable bowel several times a day, I can’t wait for things to pick up, so to speak.

His sister, Callie, was also having issues and we discovered she has a thyroid problem. Rather than give her a pill twice a day for the rest of her life—a process she seriously resists—she got a special treatment that zaps her thyroid and heals her in one easy step. There’s something with radioactive isotopes. I’m not clear on the whole procedure. But this is what I do know…I’m dealing with radioactive poop.

Uh huh…it’s in the post-op instructions. I have to collect her poop, store it in a covered container for two weeks, then hold it for 80 days before tossing it.

I guess this means her poop now has a half life. And as I can’t tell the difference between her poop and Jake’s, I’ll be collecting all of it. Did I mention Jake has irritable bowel? That there are days when he poops six or seven times? Now I not only get to scoop it up, I get to keep it. Like a treasure. There are absolutely no words to describe my joy.

Okay—now it’s your turn. What are your fabulous pet stories, or kid stories, or any stories. I need a good giggle, what with the poop issues in my house!